Coping with Holiday Stress

By Rebecca Eberlin, Ph.D.

While the holidays are meant to be a time of rest and relaxation with our friends and family, often this time of year turns out to be one of the most stressful. In fact, many people dread the holiday season, as celebrating with our friends and family often brings added stress. Whatever the causes of this stress are for you — hosting the holiday meal, preparing your family for travel, or even spending time with family members who are not on your excited-to-see list — you can learn to manage stress so that it does not take too great a toll on your holiday spirit. 

Research shows there are a few basic rules that can help you cope with all kinds of uncomfortable situations, feelings and people. As you go through this holiday season, we encourage you to hold onto a few of them. First things first: be prepared. Have awareness about which situations and people may trigger unnecessary stress for you. The first step to lowering the intensity of any emotion is being aware that it is taking place. If you can prepare ahead of time for when stress is likely to pop up, you will be more ready to deal with it when it comes. If you are hosting the family meal or traveling to be with family this season, get organized now. That classic Christmas carol had it right when they sang, “He’s making a list, and checking it twice.” Making lists is an excellent strategy to ensure success during this stressful time. 

Another helpful rule during this season is to make decisions based on your thoughts, not your emotions. When stress levels are high, people do not always give themselves the opportunity to slow down, think things through and make the best decision. Instead, they tend to go with immediate reactions, which in the end can lead to an increase in stress and discomfort. We encourage everyone to “take five” during this season, and think things through. Rehearse what you are about to say to someone and think about the impact your words may have. We find giving yourself an additional 5 -10 seconds can almost guarantee a better result than acting on your immediate impulse. Making decisions based on thoughts and not feelings can also help when dealing with difficult family members. 

Along with taking the time to be prepared and think things through, it is helpful to find the things we love about each and every family member. When we can notice and hold onto those aspects of a person, it helps us appreciate the time we spend with them. 

As you go through this season and start the New Year, keep these strategies in mind to have the most successful and stress-free time possible. Happy holidays!